Rely a bit too heavily on alcohol and irony.

November 29, 2012

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Things have been rough around here. D ended up leaving for that job last Thursday. Since then things have just been stressful and weird and different. Really different. Jude has been acting up like nobody’s business. It’s the strangest thing. I know he knows that daddy hasn’t been around but how do you explain why? I’ve consistently told him that daddy’s working but I don’t think he gets it quite yet. Every morning I get him out of his room he goes running to our bedroom and goes “Daddy!?!”. Breaks my heart every single time that I end up breaking down and crying infront of him. I don’t want to do that but it’s hard to stop. Eli is still too little to really know what’s going on but I think he knows that something is up. Regardless, it’s so incredibly hard to see my kids through this. I just keep reminding myself that this isn’t permanent and it’s worth it in the long run.

My amazing friend Jet has been helping out and I just wanted to give her a shout out on here. Jet, I love you so very much. Thank you for helping me out this past week. You’re such a great person and I’m beyond blessed to have you in our lives. Jude obviously adores you and I do too!

Other than that it’s been hard to do pretty much anything when I’m alone because of the arthritis in my back. I called my doctor yesterday but I’ll probably have to call 500 more times before I get an answer. I’m not getting surgery. There’s just no way that I can. Having two kids and a husband miles away, how would that work? It just wouldn’t. So I feel screwed and don’t know which way to turn anymore.

Life’s just been real hard and I’m praying for a silver lining.

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2 Responses to “Rely a bit too heavily on alcohol and irony.”

  1. Nice photograph..i enjoyed more from this blog. Keep writing because we need more from you !!

  2. Keep you head up love. You’re doing an amazing job. You are a mother like no other. I’m always here for you.

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