I feel like a new person.

February 2, 2013

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Sorry for not writing as often. I started my job Monday and have been putting in 12+ hour days. Besides missing the kids horribly, I’ve been enjoying every second of it. Before this I haven’t worked in three years. It feels good to get out and also contribute to our family and our future. I honestly feel like a brand new person. I’m more aware, more focused and driven. It feels really good.

I love my co workers. I really do. The husband does too. We get along with every single person. Dave, our team leader, I’m in love with. The husband is fully aware, haha! I’m not really but he’s just a great guy! He kind of looks like Jude from Across the Universe. Amelia is twenty years old and she’s usually just so active and talkative and spunky. She really reminds me of, well, me. Her hair is every color you could imagine. Kourtney is such a cool guy. He’s super tall and always brings so much energy where ever he goes. Those are the main people we will be living with four days a week. The others, I don’t think will be on our team after this Monday. But I hope they are! I think our whole group will make it far. We were told that we are the only team able to complete a store in one day. This coming week we will be staying in a hotel with all of them. They’ve been wanting us to stay with them since day one but we have the boys that we have to come back home to. Speaking of, I had a few crying sessions since I’ve started this. It’s really hard to be away from them. I’ve only been away for no longer than an hour before this. I’ve been missing them something awful but the husband and I will have every Friday, Saturday and Sunday off. Those days are solely for these boys. All day today we’ve been playing and napping and eating. It’s been nice.

I called my grandmother last night just to check in and see what’s going on. She was nothing but short and rude. The only thing she really said was, “When am I going to see the kids? I miss them.” I simply said, “I do too.” and she went all huffy puffy and replied, “Are you sure? By your recent actions it seems as if you don’t give shit about them.”. She’s referring to me finally getting a job and finally making money. She doesn’t want me to work. She thinks that I’m meant to be home with the kids all day, everyday and only be a stay at home mom. I shouldn’t contribute, money-wise, towards our future. She’s old fashioned and I’m okay with that but I wish she didn’t have to be so down right mean to me about it. Telling me that I obviously don’t care about my kids and never ever supporting any of my decisions. This woman has basically raised me yet she still treats me like I’m some piece of shit most of the time. Is it wrong to want her approval? I’m not expecting a party every time I am supposedly on the right track but I would like some sort of sign that she’s proud of me every once in a little while. You can’t change anybody and I’m not about to try. My best bet is to basically just back off. No more phone called or anything. Just continue working and taking care of my family. I don’t need nor want any negativity.

All in all everything seems to be panning out in my favor for once. It feels really, really good. I’m actually really happy. Everything will be alright.

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This is Kourtney. He’s hilarious. We were outside surveying the lawn and garden section while snowing. This was also at 7:00pm. We have fun.

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