Feeling much better.

January 27, 2013

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It’s been a long one.

January 4, 2013

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Happy Thanksgiving!

November 22, 2012

Happy Thanksgiving! Of course today consisted of being surrounded by all family members but this year it actually wasn’t that bad. I had a great time visiting my side of the family. Everybody loved the kids outfits and the kids behaved great! It was a miracle. It was like a perfect morning after having a perfect night.

I’ve got to be honest. I didn’t pig out at all this year. I barely ate anything. I mean, I went to town on some sweet potatoes but other than that, not really. Which is probably for the best anyway. At least now I don’t feel all fat and bloated. (:

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So, DJ got a job. But it’s just not okay with me. I hate to be completely selfish but how am I supposed to handle being away from him six days a week!? Day and night. He got offered a job near New Jersey for home care. It’ll be 900.00 a week but at what cost is basically losing your husband? I can’t stop crying. I feel so completely heart broken. I know he has to do it. It’s either this or move in with his parents. My mind is racing and all I keep telling him is he’s not going. I’d basically be losing my best friend. Its just really hard to handle right now. Real tough. I’m hiding away in our bedroom because I don’t want him to see me crying. He’s already cried once and I don’t want to make the situation worse. We are both badly torn. We know that this is the best for our family. We need the money. He can’t stay on unemployment forever and its real hard surviving off of 230.00 a week with a household of four.

What am I going to do!?

An entry for not sleeping.

November 21, 2012

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12:12, make a wish.
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An entry about stress.

November 20, 2012

I don’t have too much that I have to say today. Things are alright. Well, kind of. I’m just constantly stressing and I’m honestly sick and tired of it. I feel like I wake up and I’m just instantly stressed. It’s always money. Money, money, money. I feel like a failed mother because I probably won’t be able to give my children the Christmas that they deserve this  year. I feel like even more of a failure because we’re considering moving in with D’s parents just so we can save money. I guess that’s what this blog really is about though. Me, trying to make a love nest with my family. How am I supposed to make a “home” in somebody elses house? Besides the fact that D’s father and I are always on and off and at the moment I believe that we’re off. He actually makes everybody tense when he’s around. Even D’s mother. It’d be real hard to live with a man such as himself. Thick headed, know-it-all who only thinks about himself. I mean, I’m stubborn and all but this man has got me beat. How am I supposed to live with somebody like that? It’s just very frustrating.

Onto other things..

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